Erotic Journal Challenge – February 17th 2022

I just recently found the Erotic Journal Challenge on Instagram! Thank you for following me on that account, Brigit! I look forward to seeing your prompts. XoXo

Prompt: Do you save certain things for special occasions? Impose limits? Create boundaries? Tell yourself no?

Wow. This hits me on so many levels, I had to give it some serious thought. I originally planned to write up tomorrow’s and skip this one until I read it.

And then, of course, I had to answer.

If you know me well, or interact with me often enough, you probably know one of my ‘things’ is telling myself no. I make light of this, but it’s true. I tell myself no for so many things. I do it mostly in regards to buying items, but I’ve extended it over the years to other things as well.

Why?

A form of self-control. I’ve always been a people-pleaser and one of the ways to fight it was to tell myself no. Most people practice saying yes or no depending on what’s going on in their life. I have said no to so many things for so long, it’s almost automatic.

Telling myself no helped me do something else, though. Something I didn’t expect to happen.

Boundaries Abound

By telling myself no for things, people, outings, everything except essentials to live… helped me create boundaries between me and everything else.

And while that may sound selfish or some kind of self-imposed prison, it actually helped free me from obligations I didn’t want to have.

During my “saying no to dating” period helped me reclaim myself and become more independent. In past long-term relationships, I found myself turn into mother, chef, and maid.

My needs, wants, and even my words would go completely unheard. I was always wrong. Or, I had to be right all the time.

I read a wide-range of topics and I research ridiculous things. I pull information out of my brain vault. I just know things or I Google to remind me.

Unfortunately, telling someone you read a few articles on what they’re talking about and the information you learned contradicts them wouldn’t bring about a healthy debate or a desire to dig deeper to find more details.

Instead of creating curiosity with someone who was supposed to be my partner, it would create resentment. Resentment towards me for “having to be right.” In truth, I was trying to have a healthy debate about the topic and a chance to dig into information together. I have insatiable curiosity with some topics and I’m surprised I’m still alive.

Special Occasions

I don’t like the idea of saving things for a special occasion. Life is messy and it gets busy and schedules get discombobulated. I’d much rather just celebrate in the present whenever possible. Enjoy the day, enjoy what life brings. Sure, planning events is one thing, but if you keep pushing back a special occasion because the timing isn’t quite right, then it may never be right and you could miss out on something wonderful.

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