From Birthday Present to Hurricane Evacuation

Life on the island is never boring. How do I know? Well, this is my third visit and I’ve never had a dull moment here. Oh, and there’s that Hurricane.

I know I haven’t been here for quite a while, but to be completely honest with you, my lovelies, I’ve been malfunctioning in the writing ways for a little while now. But I’m working on it elsewhere in private and hope to bring you more adventures in smutty goodness soon. Now, let’s get to Hurricane Dorian.

If you follow me on Twitter… gee how many times have I typed that here? You’ll know that I’m back on the island with my lovely sister Dr. J. to celebrate her birthday earlier this month. How did I end up here? You’re going to love this.

I get a text from the lovely Dr. J. say she needs to talk to me. Of course, that pings my anxiety just a smidge. Like oh, okay. Is this a writing thing? Is something else going on? There’s no emotion in text and I’m replaying her words in my head in her voice, wondering what’s being emphasized in that simple sentence.

The next thing I know, I’m being asked if I would be interested in coming back to the island as a birthday present. I couldn’t say no, right? I mean, let me get my bow. We schedule the flights well in advance as we are wont to do. I enjoy having something to look forward to, especially when work is putting me on constant edge with my stress levels. Flight booked? Hell yes. Get me out of here.

On the 25th of August, Dr. J. sends me this lovely piece of artwork

Okay, no, it isn’t artwork. It’s a hurricane notification. Technically, at this moment in time, I think it was still a teeny tiny Tropical Storm.

And yet, it grew into a big bad hurricane. One of the biggest, baddest hurricanes ever. And now the Bahamas are devastated.

Straight out – this is climate change. This is what happens when you devastate your forests and your planet and let your ice caps melt and continue to spew out CO2 into the atmo, and THEN roll back EPA regulations and spew MORE toxic shit into the atmo. /soapboxrant

Dr. J. did send an assuring message along with this image. “Stay calm. It’s just our energy stirring things up.”

You have a front seat to most things when you follow me on Twitter, but let me give you the quick run down in the past about weather events and us sisters.

Incidentals

First Incident – Dr. J. is giving a presentation to a group, which I requested (and she so kindly allowed) to view via Skype. During her presentation I’m being held by Traci (with the warm hands). At some point, my daughter starts calling. I deny the call not once, but twice, because I’m using my phone to watch. She calls a third time and I know it’s urgent. There’s a tornado warning and they don’t have a basement. I tell them to bring the dog and get their butts over here. They can park in the garage if needed. They show up and I’m whispering to Traci that there’s a tornado warning and a good chance I may have to disconnect if it gets bad.

Second Incident – Dr. J. hosts Smummit 1 (aka SiScon) at her home on Smuttylicious Island. Oleander and I are the first to arrive. Kayla and John Brownstone arrive. Professor Sex and her partner arrive. We meet locals. We dine, we have fun. I can’t remember if it’s the day I flew out or a day after, but there’s a tropical storm on the Gulf side. I don’t recall his (I do know the name was male) name. It may have been Antonio. We sit on the porch for hours having conversations while it downpours buckets.

Third Incident – I think it was another tornado warning during some other event I was watching via Skype. Or it may have just been a couple of us Sisters skyping. I can’t remember, obviously because nothing came of it.

Fourth Incident – This might be it. I’m honestly not sure. It seems like everywhere we go, something deep in the earth gets disturbed and decides to torment us with weather events. Unfortunately, this time, it’s panned out. As I type this out, we are under an evacuation notice.

But let me back up a moment…

I’m at work. It’s the week I’m supposed to be flying down and I’m watching Dorian like it’s the hottest thing to happen in the past decade. Kind of like how people watch guys taking off their shirts on Instagram.

At the time, I didn’t realize that the tracking information for a hurricane is only updated every few hours. You see, when you grow up where there are tornadoes, you are used to receiving ‘the funnel cloud is over THIS STREET and you should take SHELTER RIGHT NOW’.

So, I’m refreshing the damn website every hour or two waiting for it to change – and it’s not fucking changing. What the hell? Where’s my instant live coverage dammit? Everyone is making a huge deal about this hurricane at the day job. You should just cancel, it’s going to hit hard. And at the time, it was nowhere near the Island.

At the Airport

I’m sitting at the airport. I’m looking at the banner that has appeared across my app for the airline. Travel Alert. Reddish Orange background, white text. I click on it and it’s telling me that there’s a severe weather alert for Florida. You don’t say? It gives me the option to change my flight plans. I’m on the phone with Dr. J. She asks me what I want to do. I reply “I’m at the airport… I’m coming to Florida. What hurricane?”

And to the Island, I came.

It’s been a stressful trip, dealing with this constant hurricane fear… Oh no, wait. What am I saying? It’s been a beautiful day every single day. The island has been pretty empty due to the hurricane coverage and fear. They boarded up the courthouse the other day, but the weather has been hot and humid – exactly what I love.

I’ve hung out with Dr. J. and her partner and the locals here that know me. It’s been a blast. We had coffee and ice cream and dinner and lunch out. Want to go somewhere with delicious, fresh food? You cannot beat Amelia Island. Seriously, if you get to visit Florida, stop there for a day or three.

Unfortunately, I didn’t pick up that bottle of bourbon for my coworker. We didn’t go down to St. Augustine. No big deal, I’ll be back again and perhaps that time we will take a drive.

I took this amazing photo on our way to have dessert with a couple of friends. Unfortunately, one of those people will not allow me to steal palm trees to take home for my coworkers.

I also dipped into the Peach Moonshine brought by Queen Jayne, Dot (F. Leonora), Weds, and Rachel for Smummit. It tastes pretty good mixed with peach tea, btw.

So, unfortunately, I’m having to cut my vacation a day short. Shh, don’t tell work.

I’m flying home tomorrow instead of Tuesday. Holiday flights alone are ridiculous. Holiday driving is just as nutty. Maybe I’ll take Tuesday and go somewhere to relax on the beach somewhere closer to home for a couple of hours.

No matter what I do on Tuesday, it won’t compare to being on the island with beautiful sun-filled days, amazing people to have intelligent and inspirational conversations with, and the relaxing atmosphere.

Don’t worry, Smuttylicious Island, I’ll becoming back and maybe stealing some palm trees.