Erotic Journal Challenge: Love Language

Wow. Today’s Erotic Journal Challenge is to take the Love Language Quiz. Do you know your 5 Languages of Love?

When I took the quiz the first time, I had a 0% for Gifts. And I have a reason for that. If you take this quiz, almost every one has a gift option choice. The way the gift options are worded made me feel uncomfortable. Like, if i choose that, am i someone who just wants material objects?

I’m not a materialistic person. The objects I value are items that keep me connected with others, such as my phone and my laptop. These items also allow me to pursue my passions.

I do appreciate thoughtful gifts and I retook the quiz. Now I’m surprised it went from 0% to 10%. Honestly, actions speak louder than words.

Quality Time

Spending time together is important to me. I enjoy having conversations and connecting. I also enjoy doing things separately. It’s important to me for my partner to have interests they can do with friends or family or alone.

I don’t want to pick up a book to read only being asked why I’m ignoring them. Especially if they’re doing their own thing.

And I’ll be slightly irked if you go out with friends and tell me you’ll be home by a certain time and don’t check in that you’ll be late. What can i say? I worry.

Physical Touch

I do enjoy physical touch as a sign of affection, but there has to be mutual affection of some kind. I’m not hugging random people or anyone who gives me an off-vibe.

Hugging is always a plus, especially if I’m cold and you’re always running hot. Or just snuggling and watching a show. Or having you lean over and kiss the top of my head randomly.

That random ass grab is always nice, too.

Acts of Service

I was surprised at my percentage for acts of service because of how independent I am. However, my independence comes from past disappointment in people and partners who were supposed to be there and shoulder my burdens with me, not add theirs onto mine.

The man who told me it’s him, not me was someone who offered acts of service as a love language. I am sure we had miscommunications. I don’t mind having my bag carried but there’s no need to walk into frigid weather to get it. Now, if I had a trunk full of groceries, that’s different.

Carrying in several bags of groceries is a burden. Carrying a light overnight bag is not. Helping fold laundry is a huge plus, and so is switching over the load. I’d do the same thing for a partner.

Receiving Gifts

Ahh the love language of gift-giving. This is a difficult one. I need to be told something you’d like for a birthday, anniversary, whatever. Or, give me a list of interests. I’m not great at guessing anything. Clue me in or be disappointed.

Sounds awful, right? I know. There are some things I’m not intuitive about. This includes being given gifts.

This again stems from disappointment in my past. I don’t understand why someone would just randomly buy me something. Even if I express interest in something, it doesn’t mean I want it. It just means I find it interesting or cool or whatever.

Gifts I love? Thoughtful gifts that Dr. J. and Oleander have given me over the years. I look forward to my Big Island Cookies and my Michael Stokes calendar every year. Oleander always sends me something to pamper myself and she hits the nail on the head every time.

Our best bet for gifts is communication. Tell me what you really, really want or need. Or create an Amazon wishlist and give me access to it.

Words of Affirmation

So this isn’t my cup of love language… I’m not surprised my Words of Affirmation score ended up lower than gifts when I retook the test. Honestly, there are only so many times by so many people you can hear the same things. Smart, pretty, funny, sarcastic, intelligent… why are you single!? Uh… I don’t know, I’m a bitch. (Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented, Charismatic, Honest.)

If you want to give me words of affirmation, tell me I did something that helped you out. Commenting on my body or my personality, or whatever, that’s not going to do much of anything for me. I know it sounds conceited, but I’m not trying to be. I look in the mirror long enough to put my face on and to fix it through the day. If I’m checking out my body, it’s to see if I have a new bruise or to check out one that’s in the process of healing to guess how much longer it’ll take.

Sure, I might send a sultry photo to a guy I like, but that’s got to be earned. And they are such a pain in the ass to take. Just come see me in person, I’ll even leave the light on (so I can check you out all over). Words can also be lies, and have been in the past. I can’t always tell if someone is being honest or manipulative, so I tend to ignore the words and look at the actions or feel the vibe.

Honestly, this is just a meat suit that someday I’ll no longer inhabit. I do my best to take care of it so it decides to let me hang around in it awhile longer.

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