My daughter finally talked me into watching Shameless on Netflix. A coworker some time back told me she couldn’t stop watching it and I should check it out. At the time, Netflix only had the UK version and I shut it off within the first few minutes. However, the US version, which I assume is the one she’s watching, truly is addictive. It’s as addictive as Frank is to fucking everything up.
It’s also made me think about a lot of things. My childhood wasn’t great, but it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as the kids in Shameless. Watching this show is like watching a train crash into a bus, which then explodes, causing a chain reaction that somehow ends up with you standing there as nuclear fallout light coats your skin. You can’t stop watching. You can’t wait to see what the kids fuck up next. It also makes you appreciate what you have in life if you didn’t already.
People need certain things in life. Where I live there’s a heroin epidemic. People are overdosing with kids in the room or car with them. Hell, one parent lived because the kid called 911 and told them his mom wasn’t waking up. The world we live in is a fucked up place and Shameless might be a lot closer to the truth than most of those watching realize. People have needs, wants, desires, passions. When that passion dies because it can no longer be fulfilled they find something else to fill that hole with, if they can. It doesn’t always work, and the hole gets bigger while their soul darkens and withers away.
I feel for these people. I could’ve easily been one of them if I didn’t have a short leash on my demons. I’ve never used drugs. Hell, the pain pills they gave me after giving birth… I probably took one and a half. With parents who were alcoholics, I decided at a young age I didn’t want to be trapped by something like that. On top of that, Pisces are dreamers, sensitive and prone to be addicted to something. Instead of letting my addictions control me, I picked ones that I could control.
I’m addicted to a few things and most people will scoff or laugh or roll their eyes because I’m not addicted to drugs or alcohol or sex. Nothing I’m addicted to can land me in jail or in a back alley looking for a fix. I’m addicted to fantasy, fiction, moving pictures, non-reality. I binged 11 seasons of Supernatural on purpose over a few months of time for the hell of it because it was going to be time for season 12 soon. I’ve been watching Shameless almost non-stop and it’s interfered with everything. I’ve actually had to turn it off and switch to another show so I can write something sexy. It’s ridiculous. The sex in Shameless is usually wild and wicked and hot. I’m in love with characters. They make me feel more than real people do sometimes. I care more about what happens to those fictional characters than most real people because they’ve never done anything that can hurt me. It’s like that television screen is a wall between them and my emotions. Sure, I’ll cry or get angry at something that happens in the show, but they’ve never hurt me personally.
It’s necessary in my life for me to go without television, Netflix, Hulu, etc sometimes. I need to force myself to turn off the shows and put on music. When this happens, it helps me decompress. It gets me up and moving, whether to dance around and sing badly or to start a cleaning frenzy. Writing is a necessary hobby in my life. I want it to be more than a hobby, but I can’t seem to treat it that way. I can’t seem to put aside an hour or three a day to specifically sit and write words. I do use my lunch to write more often than not and that helps a lot. They’ve been changing a lot of things around the office, so I’ve lost one of my favorite places (it has windows) to write, however, I’m not staring out the window instead of writing. I think I write more hot and naughty stories on my lunch lately than I do when I’m at home the past few months. It’s ridiculous and I need to stop it. Limiting television is one way but it’s difficult when there’s snow on the ground (again) and all I want to do is go outside for a walk, to sit at the park with my Chromebook and tap out another hot story.
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