May 26

Mischa Eliot

“I don’t have a Kindle…”

techblather-flat“I can’t buy your book because I don’t own a Kindle.”

You would not believe how often I hear this. And, while I don’t personally go out to actual people and say “Hey, buy my smutty stories!” I do let people online know that I write smutty stories. Some people even tell me they like them, which is always nice. (Note: While I love that you tell me you like my writing, reviews are always better.)

Then, there are the people that really surprise me and say that they don’t own a Kindle, therefore they can’t read my stories. Well, that’s not true, friend. You can read my stories and many other Kindle books as well. If you have an Amazon account, you also have a Read.Amazon.Com cloud drive. So, you can read Kindle books you purchase there.

Also, Amazon LIKES customers. They want people to buy their stuff. So they are going to give you free things in order to be able to buy books and read them. Such as the Kindle App for your phone, tablet, or laptop/desktop. 

I promise, I’m not a spokesperson for Amazon, but hell, with the way I pitch their apps and cloud, you think I’d get paid for this. Honestly, I should contact them. (And yes, I know there are so many people against The Machine Amazon, but I go where I can and do what I can.)

If someone tells you they can’t read your Kindle books… feel free to refer them to this post. Have a great day!

May 03

Mischa Eliot

No More Excuses

Are you forgetting ideas because you had an epiphany while driving? Are you falling asleep in bed and the ideas are flooding you and you’ll tell yourself you remember them in the morning, but then when the morning comes, poof, no ideas? First, if you haven’t seen it yet, run over to TED.com and watch this: Elizabeth Gilbert: Success, Failure, and the Drive to Keep Creating. This TED Talk is absolutely amazing and I wish I had seen it when it was first added to their library.

I absolutely loved how she explains how her ideas come to other artists and herself. I can completely relate. Someone says something and the next thing they know is I’m staring off into space frozen as all these ideas are flowing through me. I also relate to losing ideas because you’re totally in the middle of something else and can’t write them down. In today’s technical age we don’t have that issue so much. Almost everyone has a smart phone and if you do not have a smart phone, and you’re a writer, and you aren’t carrying a notebook, then losing those ideas is 100% completely on you.

If you have a smart phone, then I recommend that you download Evernote. I also use OneNote from Microsoft, too, however, Evernote takes dictation. If you are driving, at the beach without a notebook (what writer goes to the beach without a notebook and pen?) or unable to stop what you are doing, you can take 10 seconds to open Evernote and have it take dictation.

I recommend having a headset of some kind. I use a simple pair of earbuds that come with a microphone that has a button I can use to quietly dictate to Evernote my thoughts. If you haven’t learned how to speak to a smart phone in a way that it can take dictation, I recommend practicing.

I’ve also finally stopped procrastinating and started listening to Writing Excuses, a podcast by a group of authors that is short and funny and full of unending amazing advice. There’s only so many episodes available through iTunes and my Windows Phone Podcast app, so I started looking online for the entire list of episodes. They also take questions from listeners and the questions are amazingly helpful because sometimes they will either be something you were pondering on or something you didn’t even think to ask.

So, things to do: Create an Evernote account (they have a free version) if you haven’t already and practice with their handy dandy dictation taking. Listen to Elizabeth Gilbert’s TED Talk, and check out the Writing Excuses Podcast, which is totally awesome.

 

Apr 14

Mischa Eliot

Smutty Inspiration

Sometimes, you need a lick in the nether regions to get the muse all worked up.

If you’re having some issues writing a sex scene, whether it be the kind that starts out with a soft, loving kiss and fades to black, or a detailed group orgy, sometimes you have difficulty figuring out the which person is going to “insert tab A into slot B”. But worse than that, you may need some help visualizing which position they should be in when doing the whole naked tango.

While it’s great to have a partner to grab a hold of and say ‘let’s try this!’ it doesn’t always work that way. Unless you have mirrors on your walls and/or ceiling, it’s kind of hard to watch yourself having intercourse. Even if you have a camera poised… it’s not going to capture it the way you want to see it and I doubt you really want to ask a friend or two to get footage of you getting all down and dirty with your partner.

However, it will get you all those spine-tingling feelings and you can use those in the story to describe what your characters are feeling. If you don’t have someone to grab and drag to the room of your choice, there’s always free pr0n. Just make sure that you’re virus scanner is up to date and fully armed (because, you know, we don’t need any STDs up in here, up in here).

I also like visiting sites that sell toys and equipment. You can read the reviews on the products and find out what people enjoyed about them. I will warn you though, some people go seriously above and beyond with their reviews. It’s like they need to write down every detail of what occurred while they were strapped into the device of their torment and pleasure. So, beware. You’ll either be tilting your head wondering why on earth they thought they needed to include all the dirty details, tantalizingly amused, or you’ll want to use a variation of it in a story.

What do you do in order to get your muse all worked up and panting?

Apr 07

Mischa Eliot

Figuring Things Out: KDP Related

techblather-flatI finally got it right!

And that is extremely exciting for me. When previewing the files I uploaded to Amazon’s Kindle Digital Publishing I was heartbroken to see that images weren’t working. I like putting an image of the next cover at the end with a short description of what might happen. Even though the images were broken, I’ve left them up. It’s been a thorn in my side for a while but finally my searching has led me to answers.

Even after following one set of instructions “save your file in this format, zip it this way, then upload it” didn’t quite work. Something still wasn’t working. I started searching for answers again yesterday and stumbled upon this thread over in the community forums detailing what I was doing wrong.

I turns out that I was copying and pasting my images (though I do believe I did try the insert picture detailed in these instructions and still had issues). However, when I did use the insert picture instead, I may not have saved it as a webpage, filtered file. 

Anyway, if you’ve been having issues with images not appearing in your final kindle file, look at the instructions and see if there is a step you’re missing. It definitely helped me out. Now I just hope that the copies already out there will update. (I’m still waiting for a cover update on both of the Supervisor stories and those have been uploaded repeatedly but my copies have not updated in any of my kindle apps….)

Have you figured out some tips or tricks working with KDP (or other digital publishing sites)? Please feel free to share in the comments!

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