Quicklinks Page: Let’s Get Building! If you have a self-hosted WordPress website then you’re probably using a theme that comes with a builder for pages, forms, and more. I would rather you pay a fee to an individual (like say me) to make a Quicklinks page for you on your...
Dildo Shenanigans with Big Blue Merman Smurf First, I’d like to state that I am not responsible for the full name of Big Blue. I have friends who enjoy tormenting me and have probably been banned from naming things in the future. Okay, let’s be real. We know they’ve been...
by Mischa Eliot · Published February 4, 2021 · Last modified October 15, 2022
I meant to write this post yesterday, but I decided to make a delightful dinner instead. That’s how I self-care. Okay, that’s it. That’s the post. Just kidding! Wait! Come back! Once upon a time, I enjoyed reading while soaking in a hot bath. Back then, we didn’t have things...
by Mischa Eliot · Published December 24, 2020 · Last modified October 15, 2022
I claimed 2020 was going to be my year… I feel like we were both epic failures. Oh 2020… we had so many hopes and they just crashed and burned. Let me get the salt… Compare and Contrast Who knew that 2019 would be a great year compared to what...
In case you missed it, last night was #SpookySmutSlam! This is the story the ether slammed into me in spurts and sputters. I hope you enjoy it. Choking, burning, darkness. Pain. Alive. Intruder! Heart-wrenching devastation dropped me to my knees. When I read the property details, the words did not...
by Mischa Eliot · Published October 26, 2020 · Last modified October 15, 2022
It explains a lot going on with me right now, including the difficulty of getting back into writing. If you’re not a big enough fan (or a fan at all) of Supernatural, I’ll include a video of Sam being Soulless at the end. In the show Supernatural the soul is...
Are you a Twinkie or a Strudel? Smutty Thoughts from friends are the best. This one was worth waiting for, promise! This has to do with that exciting moment known as orgasm! Specifically, for penis-havers. In the future, ask your partner ‘do you want me to be a Twinkie or...
by Mischa Eliot · Published July 16, 2020 · Last modified October 15, 2022
Trusting People on the Internet is Hard I’m Exhausted. I’m Also Angry. I also don’t have much energy to give, let alone trust these days. #TrustNoOne Every time I go to click the Twitter shortcut link or app, I wonder what fucked up crazy is going to happen. I’ve...
Today’s Smutty Thought comes from someone retired from the military. They have the best stories. This is one of them. Ever sit at a Smile Table? I’ve never been under one, but I find the idea of it intriguing. What is a Smile Table? Have you heard of this game?...
Today’s Smutty Thought of the Day is all about the elegance of a pearl necklace. My coworkers aren’t giving me as much Smutty Thought fodder as they were before I came up with this idea. I think it’s time to crack the whip.However, when this one came up, it was...
Our Smutty Thought of the Day this time is about Fuck Buddies! Or, as I saw elsewhere (possibly typo’d), fuckbodies. Some of the best sex of my life happened with fuck buddies. Showing up, stripping down, and getting busy is a favorite pastime of mine. The great thing about having...
Hey there! Here’s a random scene I really hope you enjoy. A nice, super steamy quickie to get you a little sticky in all the right ways! Time was short and the countdown clock flickered in my head, seconds ticking down fast. He yanked his hoodie and t-shirt over his...
Spinning Stories are like Spinning Spider Webs. Or so I’m saying. I don’t know, I just say the things that pop into my head, okay? Then something connects and I get a beautifully woven web, but usually for others it seems. I cannot seem to get my ass writing erotica....
Our smutty thought of the day has multiple descriptions, but I feel a very important definition is missing. Let’s talk about Double-Fisting! Wow. Have you googled ‘Double-Fisting’? If not, let me give you a tour. I’m here for you, folx I will google the hard things. The first one that...
Today’s Smutty Thought is all about that Taint! For some of the best definitions on what a Taint is and where it is, check out Urban Dictionary. I’ve never laughed so hard. Okay, not true. I’ve laughed harder, but some of these are the best. It never ends. I love...
Finally, I’ve realized the issues to my writing problems. While I have been writing, I haven’t been writing smutty stories. And now I know why. I have been writing, but I haven’t been finishing most things. My problem writing has been sitting right in front of my face this whole...
Today’s Smutty Thought is about Swinging. Why? Because there are two ways to use the word. When your coworkers know you write smut and have read the anthology you put out with your writing group (pun totally intended), they like to come to you and say ‘hey, have you thought...
by Mischa Eliot · Published December 31, 2019 · Last modified October 15, 2022
Goodbye 2019, Farewell. I bid you adieu! さようなら! I am booting 2019 out of the door as quickly as possible. #SorryNotSorry! I look forward to 2020, but hey, let’s give 2019 a proper farewell party okay? Top Stories from 2019 Smuttylicious Island meets the Sisters in Smut That’s not all...
I, the SmutMerchant™, bring you Smutty Thought of the Day. Shaunta Grimes’ started a serial called “Should You Start Writing on Medium in 2020?” and in the first post she included a quote by Seth Godin. He says [in plain, short terms] that everyone should have a blog and everyone...
by Mischa Eliot · Published December 5, 2019 · Last modified October 15, 2022
Let’s talk about Shaming Someone I adore recently sent a SnapChat photo of the cover of Best Women’s Erotica of the Year Volume 3 to her story. I lent her my copy when she expressed interest after reading Chemical [se]X 2: Just One More and her relative swiped Big Book...
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