silver and black laptop computer 1

Quicklinks: How to build your own

Quicklinks Page: Let’s Get Building! If you have a self-hosted WordPress website then you’re probably using a theme that comes with a builder for pages, forms, and more. I would rather you pay a fee to an individual (like say me) to make a Quicklinks page for you on your...

Big Blue hiding behind a pillow on the couch 0

Dildo Shenanigans: Where it all began

Dildo Shenanigans with Big Blue Merman Smurf First, I’d like to state that I am not responsible for the full name of Big Blue. I have friends who enjoy tormenting me and have probably been banned from naming things in the future. Okay, let’s be real. We know they’ve been...

0

Marinating in Self-Care

I meant to write this post yesterday, but I decided to make a delightful dinner instead. That’s how I self-care. Okay, that’s it. That’s the post. Just kidding! Wait! Come back! Once upon a time, I enjoyed reading while soaking in a hot bath. Back then, we didn’t have things...

Goodbye 2020, Hey there 2021 1

2020 was Supposed to be My Year

I claimed 2020 was going to be my year… I feel like we were both epic failures. Oh 2020… we had so many hopes and they just crashed and burned. Let me get the salt… Compare and Contrast Who knew that 2019 would be a great year compared to what...

Dryad by Sawaof 1

Sizzling Nibbles: Reviving the Orchard

In case you missed it, last night was #SpookySmutSlam! This is the story the ether slammed into me in spurts and sputters. I hope you enjoy it. Choking, burning, darkness. Pain. Alive. Intruder! Heart-wrenching devastation dropped me to my knees. When I read the property details, the words did not...

Smutty Thought of the Day Promo Image 3

Smutty Thought of the Day: Twinkie vs. Strudel

Are you a Twinkie or a Strudel? Smutty Thoughts from friends are the best. This one was worth waiting for, promise! This has to do with that exciting moment known as orgasm! Specifically, for penis-havers. In the future, ask your partner ‘do you want me to be a Twinkie or...

1

Trusting People on the Internet is Hard

  Trusting People on the Internet is Hard I’m Exhausted. I’m Also Angry. I also don’t have much energy to give, let alone trust these days. #TrustNoOne Every time I go to click the Twitter shortcut link or app, I wonder what fucked up crazy is going to happen. I’ve...

Smutty Thought of the Day Promo Image 0

Smutty Thought of the Day: Smile Table

Today’s Smutty Thought comes from someone retired from the military. They have the best stories. This is one of them. Ever sit at a Smile Table? I’ve never been under one, but I find the idea of it intriguing. What is a Smile Table? Have you heard of this game?...

Smutty Thought of the Day Promo Image 2

Smutty Thought of the Day: Pearl Necklace

Today’s Smutty Thought of the Day is all about the elegance of a pearl necklace. My coworkers aren’t giving me as much Smutty Thought fodder as they were before I came up with this idea. I think it’s time to crack the whip.However, when this one came up, it was...

Smutty Thought of the Day Promo Image 0

Smutty Thought of the Day: Fuck Buddies

Our Smutty Thought of the Day this time is about Fuck Buddies! Or, as I saw elsewhere (possibly typo’d), fuckbodies. Some of the best sex of my life happened with fuck buddies. Showing up, stripping down, and getting busy is a favorite pastime of mine. The great thing about having...

“Come on hot guy, we’re running out of time and I want you to fuck me.” 4

Sizzling Nibbles: Climactic Countdown

Hey there! Here’s a random scene I really hope you enjoy. A nice, super steamy quickie to get you a little sticky in all the right ways! Time was short and the countdown clock flickered in my head, seconds ticking down fast. He yanked his hoodie and t-shirt over his...

Adventures in Writing 1

Adventures in Writing: Spinning Stories

Spinning Stories are like Spinning Spider Webs. Or so I’m saying. I don’t know, I just say the things that pop into my head, okay? Then something connects and I get a beautifully woven web, but usually for others it seems. I cannot seem to get my ass writing erotica....

Smutty Thought of the Day Promo Image 4

Smutty Thought of the Day: Double-Fisting

Our smutty thought of the day has multiple descriptions, but I feel a very important definition is missing. Let’s talk about Double-Fisting! Wow. Have you googled ‘Double-Fisting’? If not, let me give you a tour. I’m here for you, folx I will google the hard things. The first one that...

Smutty Thought of the Day Promo Image 2

Smutty Thought of the Day: Taint

Today’s Smutty Thought is all about that Taint! For some of the best definitions on what a Taint is and where it is, check out Urban Dictionary. I’ve never laughed so hard. Okay, not true. I’ve laughed harder, but some of these are the best. It never ends. I love...

Adventures in Writing 0

Adventures in Writing: Solving my Writing Problem

Finally, I’ve realized the issues to my writing problems. While I have been writing, I haven’t been writing smutty stories. And now I know why. I have been writing, but I haven’t been finishing most things. My problem writing has been sitting right in front of my face this whole...

Smutty Thought of the Day Promo Image 0

Smutty Thought of the Day: Swinging

Today’s Smutty Thought is about Swinging. Why? Because there are two ways to use the word. When your coworkers know you write smut and have read the anthology you put out with your writing group (pun totally intended), they like to come to you and say ‘hey, have you thought...

Goodbye 2019, Hello 2020 4

Adventures in Writing: Bye, 2019, Farewell

Goodbye 2019, Farewell. I bid you adieu! さようなら! I am booting 2019 out of the door as quickly as possible. #SorryNotSorry! I look forward to 2020, but hey, let’s give 2019 a proper farewell party okay? Top Stories from 2019 Smuttylicious Island meets the Sisters in Smut That’s not all...

Smutty Thought of the Day Promo Image 4

Smutty Thought of the Day: What is it?

I, the SmutMerchant™, bring you Smutty Thought of the Day. Shaunta Grimes’ started a serial called “Should You Start Writing on Medium in 2020?”  and in the first post she included a quote by Seth Godin. He says [in plain, short terms] that everyone should have a blog and everyone...

Snapchat screenshot of delete snap? prompt 0

A Penny for your Thoughts: Shame on you for Shaming

Let’s talk about Shaming Someone I adore recently sent a SnapChat photo of the cover of Best Women’s Erotica of the Year Volume 3 to her story. I lent her my copy when she expressed interest after reading Chemical [se]X 2: Just One More and her relative swiped Big Book...

If you are serious about improving your writing, ProWritingAid is the best writing software out there. They recently created a helpful demo page so that you can try out their grammar and style suggestions before you even sign up. Follow their simple suggestions and feel more confident in everything you write.