Jul 21

Mischa Eliot

Reviewed: Horatio Slice by Oleander Plume

Please know that this is a passionate review for a passionate book. Enjoy!

I have so many titles running through my head for this post, but I went with a plain title/author combo because I wanted to share them here in the post. P.S. Reading this might feel as though you’re on a roller coaster after smoking crack. Sorry, not sorry.

First and foremost, if you don’t like male/male combinations, then you might not enjoy this book. However, it’s been told to me that there are guys who don’t like male/male combinations and they did enjoy this book. Try having an open mind! It is chock full of fun and you won’t be sorry. I feel very lucky to have been chosen to receive an ARC of Horatio Slice: Guitar Slayer of the Universe. It’s been a long time since I have opened a novel and was sucked in so deeply I didn’t want to move until I absorbed every last letter.

Alternate Title One: “Kissing is better when you’re naked.” – A quote from the Guitar Slayer himself.

Oleander Plume sent me a message on Twitter asking if I’d be interested in reading it prior to release. I needed to change my panties after that because holy crap – getting the guitar slayer in my hot little hands before release? I was NOT turning that offer down!

I opened the book as soon as I downloaded the file – I mean, why wait? It was a Sunday and at the moment I thought my plans had fallen through. I had to tear myself away to change the laundry from washer to dryer, which is when I found the text message from my best friend she sent two hours earlier about the beach. I would have cancelled, but I haven’t seen her in forever, so I apologized for missing the text, then ate my lunch and skedaddled out of the house.

Alternate Title Two: Love, Lust, and Sexy Man Butts! – from the pervy mind of… okay, me.

The entire time I was gone, I fretted for Gunner. I kept thinking “This guy is either dead or in a coma, wrapped like a mummy from burns, with his best friend Steve sitting there wondering what the fuck happened after he left.” I had a great time at the beach, but holy fuck, I needed to know Gunner wasn’t dead or dying.

Let’s just say, when I got home, I showered, then went back to reading, because I had an hour or so before I needed to get to bed. Queue quarter til 11, when I said “Oh fuck, it’s past my bedtime.” I wasn’t talking to myself, I was talking to the cat. He gave me a look that said “Duh.”

Alternate Title Three: They’re having sex again? Oh, wait, that’s so hot, keep going!

When I say there’s a ton of sex in this book, I mean there’s literally a fuck ton of sex in this book. There are also space adventures and near death experiences and prophecies and questions answered. I will be completely honest with you, the book is good. It’s a fast-paced space odyssey with lots of glorious sex that will give you new ideas for your deviant mind. I felt truly bad for Horatio because he couldn’t sing or play music due to catastrophic results.

Someone, I won’t spoil it, you have to read the book, almost dies, I felt my heart clench. There are so many inner feelings bubbling around the crew and if I had a problem dealing with the potential loss of this person, I couldn’t imagine how it was for Oleander to write this scene. Were there tears running down her cheeks or was she cackling in glee since she knew the outcome already? I am thinking she got choked up writing it because the guy is so lovable and sweet there’s no way losing him wouldn’t affect even the most callous person.

Alternate Title Four: He loves you, dammit. Please don’t be scared!

I consider this more of a romance story because on one hand you have a couple who have been together for decades and one is hiding secrets. He’s terrible at it, so his partner knows all his dirty little secrets. Luckily, he’s convinced to come clean.

And on the other hand, you’ve got the other couple, struggling with the feelings inside, squelching them down the second they start to bubble up because, this is just a bros who fuck sort of fling thing, right? Oh and, bunk together, yeah?

Alternate Title Five: Love Wins. (Because love should always win. Love Yourself First. Love Others as you Love Yourself.)

If you enjoy stories about people who overcome their fear of being hurt, lots of sex (LOTS of sex), and adventure, you’ll enjoy reading Horatio Slice: Guitar Slayer of the Universe.

Get Your Copy Now {At Amazon}!

Until then, visit Oleander Plume’s website to stare at the countdown.

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Horatio Slice | Gunner Wilkes | Snake Vinter | Sugar

Jul 18

Mischa Eliot

Sharing is Caring: Teaching her Mistress by Nicci Haydon

If you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know I promote the hell out of Nicci Haydon – for good reason, her stories are always scorching hot. Don’t believe me? Try out Teaching Her Mistress.


What will society think?

Victorian aristocrat Lady Agnes knows that her husband is cheating on her with a member of the household staff, and not for the first time. Using a secret passage she discovered years earlier, she follows the unmistakable sounds of sex to the servants’ quarters, and there discovers him in the act with their beautiful young maid, Ivy.

But when Agnes confronts Ivy over the affair, passions are awakened in her own heart. Passions that she thought she had put to bed long ago. Can she resist the temptation put in front of her, or will she allow Ivy to teach her the true meaning of desire?

This is a short story of sex, passion and lesbian desire, set in Victorian England. It includes graphic descriptions of sexual acts between consenting adults.


“Agnes,” I said, suddenly thinking of a new angle I hadn’t tried. “Call me Agnes. We can be friends, you and I. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? I need a friend, Ivy.”

“My lady—”


Ivy hesitated, her breasts rising and falling with a sigh.

“Agnes.” Carefully, she pulled her hand from mine. “I can’t teach you. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I can say or do to convince you, but I simply can’t do what you’re asking.” She held up a finger against the protest on my lips. “It’s not that I don’t want to, believe me. You’re being so kind and I would do anything to stop you feeling this way but I can’t. There’s no secret to tell. Either you love him or you don’t.”

I wiped away my tears as I nodded. My body shook with cold, fear and an abyss that threatened to take me. I heard her push her chair back and this time I didn’t try to stop her. What would be the point? I thought about running away, I could do it. I could use the secret passage to collect my daughter and get away. By the time it was discovered, I could be miles away. We could take a ship to France or America.

Ivy’s fingers on my shoulder felt warm and comforting. I placed my hand over hers.

“Thank you,” I said, grateful that she hadn’t left. “I’m sorry.”

“My l—” She squeezed my shoulder. “Agnes.” I heard her inhale. “I am the one who’s sorry.”

I shook my head. “It’s not your fault.” I lifted my gaze to meet hers. “It’s my fault. Why would he choose me over you or the others?”

She sat next to me, and I studied her. I was a fool to believe it would be any other way. Poor or rich, Ivy would always have been the one he picked. Her narrow face, her short nose, her curls. Eyes that shone with intelligence and warmth from beneath brows that formed perfect arches. Her cheeks slanted like iron cliffs that God Himself had smithed just for her. A strong, confident face, I could never compete with her.

When she leaned forward, I expected a few kind words followed by excuses to leave. I would not have stopped her. The smell of my husband’s semen still lay on her, along with the scent of the cheap soap we purchased for the servants. She tilted her head, and placed her lips lightly upon mine. They were cool, or perhaps they were hot. It’s the softness I remember. Not soft like a bedspread or a silk cushion, but like ripe fruit that is ready to eat. Her eyes met mine, and searched for a response.

Pre-Order/Buy Links

(Pre-order special price $0.99 / will be $2.99 after release on August 1st, 2017)

Amazon | Smashwords | Kobo


Nicci Haydon is a British erotica and erotic romance writer. Within that category, her stories are wide ranging, covering romance, fantasy, humour, urban and magical settings and including a number of different sexual orientations. Often her fiction is imbued with a very English sense of melancholy and irony, but her love stories invariably end with a note of hope or happiness, even when there isn’t a traditional “Happy Ever After”.

Nicci has worked as a ghostwriter for hire and as a successful freelance editor and creative assistant, often helping at every stage of the development process. She loves plotting out the highs and lows of a good romance story and seeing the final piece come together.

Stalk Nicci Haydon on Social Media

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Jul 17

Mischa Eliot

Masturbation Monday: Tease – Part Four

Another Happy Masturbation Monday here, my lovelies! Enjoy some naughty time with the next part to Tease.

I squeezed my eyes shut and scrunched my shoulders at the slam the door to my apartment makes. Hopefully, it wouldn’t bother the neighbors, it was an accident. I dropped my purse and the bag of food onto the floor, so I could get out of these heels.

Whoops, did you miss a Part?

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Once that was done, I grabbed the food and purse and put them on the little dinette table. The envelope poked out of my purse, causing my mouth to purse in thought. Grabbing it, the paper rustled as I stripped my way to the bedroom. What I required was an orgasm or three. Or five. No, that’s wrong. What I really needed – okay wanted – was to be fucked until I couldn’t see straight.

After tossing my skirt and top into the hamper, I hung my bra on the doorknob. The envelope mocked me as I stared at it, vivid white against my tanned flesh. Opening it with care, I pulled the freshly printed pages out, the smell of ink wafting off the sheets.

Eyes boggling over the number of pages, thoughts ran through my mind. There was no way he printed all this while I was bent over mewling for his attention. He had to have a master file on his machine to edit when the need arose. I flipped through, glancing here and there, and realized the contract was only the first two pages. The rest was a list of kinks – some I’d have to research to figure out what exactly they were.

“Jesus, Mack. You’re one kinky fucker, that’s for sure.” I had no idea where to start. Flipping back to the first two pages, I read over them, paying better attention this time. One line popped off the page and slapped me good.

The submissive will not masturbate to completion without permission.

I stared at the paper to my toy drawer and back again. Would he know if I masturbated with my toy and gave myself the orgasms he denied? Would he punish me if he did? How?

Grumbling under my breath, I set the paper down on my vanity. “I haven’t signed them. I haven’t even really read them. Would it count?” Need pulsed through me and an echo of being bound made me rub my wrists. An itch led me to scratch the underside of my boob, which led me to squeezing them in my hands, and then I was pinching my nipples. All the things I wanted Mack to do to me poured through my mind in a jumbled mess.

“Loophole. If I don’t sign, it isn’t breaking the rules.” In a flash, I was at my toy drawer, pulling out my favorite toy. It was powerful and purple and hit all the right nerves. Spreading out onto my bed, I pressed the head of the toy to myself and hit the button.

When nothing happened, disappointment flared. I tried pressing the power button again. “Dammit. Dead batteries?” I forgot to grab them on my last trip to the store. I still hadn’t worked up the urge to purchase something with a power cord.

Determined, I headed to the bathroom and my pulsing shower head. I would get off tonight, at least one strong orgasm would lessen my need to be fucked until I couldn’t remember what name to scream. The water pulsed and I waited for it to heat up. Climbing under the spray, taking time to caress my slick skin, I couldn’t help but play with my nipples and breasts again.

Dragging my nails down my abdomen, I slipped them between my legs. Sticky warmth covered my fingers as I pulled the shower head down with my other hand. In a few breaths, I was crying out Mack’s name as the spurting water coursed over me. I crawled into bed after I finished washing, Mack’s name on my mind and the zen of several orgasms lulling me to sleep.

Thanks so much for reading Tease – Part Four! Please see if Mack finds out about Piper’s secret play time.

You can find more delicious naughty stories over at Masturbation Monday hosted by the lovely Kayla Lords. If you haven’t submitted your own story as well, and write romance, erotica, or some combination of the genres and sub-genres, please consider doing so.

Link: Masturbation Monday

Link: Kayla Lords

Jul 14

Mischa Eliot

A Penny for your Thoughts: Peek Behind the Curtains

Actually, only the bedroom curtains and blinds are closed, but the other curtains are all wide open. You’d have to walk halfway into my yard to see inside and yes, I’d see you coming.

I’ve been wracking my brain for something to share all week long. It has been one crazy day after another. I blame the muggy heat and the full moon. Having fun on Twitter with Dr. J, Oleander, John Brownstone, Kayla, and many others has been keeping me sane this week as well. There’s more than one person I wanted to tell them they’re fucking nuts and need to shut their mouth.

Why am I sharing this? Because we all have these days, these weeks, these months. I’m not alone, and neither are you. Unfortunately, we can’t all have a fun-filled, slightly illegal, sex-fest like that episode in Hart of Dixie where Zoe gave in and slept with Wade, only to be found by George. (Oh, sorry, you haven’t watched the show? It’s a blast.)

This week I’ve been focusing on my mental health. Yes, twitter is fun with my tribe. They’re fun, intelligent people who aren’t afraid to ask questions or share the things going on in their mind. They take the time to do research on topics even when it isn’t writing-related. They’re trying to further people’s minds, sex education, and more. I am also fairly sure they wouldn’t call a company and start screaming at people, too. Unless it was warranted, but that’s very rare.

“Finish Your Shit!” – Chuck Wendig of Terrible Minds

I haven’t published anything since Public Affairs: a bundle of erotic tales. Yeah, that long ago. It’s breaking my heart, too. I can’t seem to get off my ass and finish my shit. (I really need that Chuck Wendig doll.) I’m always writing or rewriting. Even during this stressful week. And the ideas keep coming. I keep writing them down, hoping that I will get to them.

Perhaps I need a change of scenery. Or a kick in the ass. Or an intervention. Either way, I will take my time and get my stories written and do all the things I want to do. There is time. But for right this moment, I’m going to finish this coffee and then head out to the day job wearing my Slay All Day shirt. I hope everyone has a beautiful, stress-free, sunshiney day. XoXo

What are you struggling with right now? Share your thoughts in the comments and get the support you need.

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