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Sep 18

Mischa Eliot

More Lessons (with actual lessons)

Every day we learn something new, especially when you’re working to turn something you love from a hobby to a career. And every day can teach us something if we pay attention. Here are some more things that I’ve learned lately.

Don’t put pricing on Excerpt pages because when you change the pricing you’ll not only have to update them on the book pages, you’ll also have to comb through the excerpt pages looking for those prices to update or remove.

Don’t look through the old blog posts because the way you do your posts now is probably a thousand percent better than the way you did them in the past – like seriously way better – and now you’ll want to start remaking those blog posts (I do and I will because it’s about consistency, not anal retentiveness).

Always pull up the list of keywords for Amazon’s subcategories so that you remember to use them. This way the book will be listed in those subcategories as they should be right away instead of them magically appearing later on.

Read, Read, and Read. (Or listen, listen, and listen if audiobooks). Regardless of if you enjoy it or not, these people are writing for a living and making the big bucks. You can take their story, shred it to bits and pieces, put it back together as an entirely new story with better dialogue, better sex scenes, and a better emotional balance than they did. Or so you hope.

Write what you know – and this does work even if you aren’t getting gangbanged for money or sleeping with your coworkers, because fantasies and porn. Yes, use porn as a way of learning positions, what works and what doesn’t work, and does your character do enough yoga to bend that way? If your characters are rolling around in the hay, you might want to mention how scratchy it is, and in the sand? Yikes… sand in sensitive areas is so not sexy.

Book pages should be pretty. I’ve been thinking of remaking mine and I’m not sure how to go about it yet. I don’t want them to be annoying, I want them to be informative and to capture attention so that people go on to buy the book. So, I’ll be experimenting with those pages as well.

Yesterday, I threw a tweet out there about ‘pounding tequila like a frat boy’. In the latest audio book I’m reading, the heroine doesn’t fucking eat. Or, if she does eat, it’s shitty junk food like a whole chocolate bar (omgosh a whole chocolate bar!) or cucumbers and dressing. If your character doesn’t eat, they cannot hold their liquor, end of story. Trust me on this, my parents owned a bar and my family has some heavy drinkers in it. Food is required to pound any kind of whiskey. The girl should’ve been blackout drunk with the way she was drinking and incapable of having consenting sexual relations and yet she was perfectly fine. Not buying it.

Please make your characters believable. If the author can pound tequila like a frat boy with hardly any food in his/her stomach, then I applaud them and hope they realize that if they continue to do that they won’t be allowed to get a new liver when it starts dying. (This goes back to Write What You Know – and is an actual, you need to know.)

What have you learned lately? Share your lessons in the comments so that others can benefit from your experiences. The more we share, the better knowledge we all have in this wonderful world of writing.

2 comments

  1. Jade Royal

    This is so true. Something I’ve learned is to watch the hand movements and such. Making sure there aren’t 5 hands grabbing at things when he only has 2.

    1. Mischa Eliot
      Mischa Eliot

      Oh my, a guy with FIVE hands.. that sounds quite intriguing.. heh

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