Adventures in Writing: Winding Path

Writing isn’t easy. It’s hard. It was never meant to be easy.

My writing history has been a winding path. Sometimes, I barrel off that path into the unknown, machete waving back and forth trying to forge my own way. And that’s how it should be. We should all find our own way of doing this thing. Creating universes from nothingness isn’t an easy thing. And in a way, that’s what we do. We create something from letters, painting pictures with pretty words, that cause someone to feel bliss or anger or freedom.

I’ll be honest with you. I don’t feel like I’m very good at this whole writing thing. I’m not fishing for compliments. I have read so many amazing stories over the years and sometimes, like others, I get that “why didn’t I think of that!?” feeling. We all get that. I also have a hard time finding books that I can keep reading these days, or listening to. Sometimes, it’s me. Other times, it’s definitely the book. I’m sure there are hundreds, maybe thousands, of people who love the books I want to throw out the window, so I don’t feel bad about it.

There are so many story ideas written down in my files, and I’m working on way too many things at once, procrastination is attached to me like a symbiotic parasite and some days I feel all tied up. Ropes and knots rub and chafe. I feel like there’s no way I can finish anything because there’s so much to do. I’ve been asked to write guest posts as well, which I have no idea what to do there, how to do it… It’s a little scary and so I haven’t done it. I want to write something sexy, something intriguing. Something that makes someone feel gooey inside like a melty chocolate chip cookie.

I’ve seen people quit. Whether temporary due to crazy stress with every day life, or just poof, vanish altogether, never to be seen again. I wasn’t called to writing. In fact, I still believe the universe, multiverse, deity, spirit, God… whatever you may call it, wanted me desperately to be a therapist of some kind. I’m way too sensitive for that and way too empathetic to be able to handle the emotional stress that would most likely come along with that and I continually say no. On the other side of the coin, I have a very difficult time telling some people to suck it the fuck up and quit whining. Then I want to quote Yoda and say Do or Do Not, There is no Try.

I write because I enjoy writing. I may not be great when it comes to sticking to a tense (always learning) but we all have our faults. I bet my 9th grade English teacher would be devastated knowing that I write. He was a nitpicker, but I learned more from him than anyone. I barely passed that class with a D, but I kept my notes from that class for years.

Basically, what I’m saying is either shit or get off the pot. Nothing in this world is truly easy to do – except giving up.