Adventures in Writing: Cheesy Christmas Movies

Cheesy Movies Abound when Christmas comes around!

And more often than not, I end up watching them. They are so cheesy that you can’t not watch them. Sometimes, I laugh, sometimes I want to cry, and other times I just shake my head. There are Bingo cards for Christmas movies. Did you know that? I didn’t. I bet there are drinking games that land people in hospital, too. Easy on the eggnog, sweetie.

However, more often than not, a writer can learn from these cheesy holiday movies. There are so many people who LOVE these movies, and don’t get me wrong, I may cringe occasionally, but I know that I can learn something from them. Here’s what I’ve noticed so far:

1. The heroine is always the one who’s overworked and underappreciated and moved from her small town life to the big city. Pick a big city, any city, they’ve all been featured. Just kidding. Usually, it’s New York or Los Angeles from what I’ve noticed because… obviously there aren’t any other big cities in America that can turn a small town girl into a jaded holiday Scrooge like they can….
2. There may or may not be a guardian angel involved, figuratively or literally. You have your actual angels because the heroine has died or gets to repeat the day until she gets her life back on track such as groundhog day or is sent back in time when her life was perfect. Then you have your angels that make them realize there’s more to life or Christmas than what they think, there’s more to what’s going on with their partner than they think. Sometimes the angel is there to earn their wings.
3. She left the man of her high school dreams for the big city because she had dreams. Or perhaps they broke up for some reason. Either way, they were the talk of the town back then and had everything going for them, until some perceived slight sent them in opposite directions until something draws them back home.
4. If not 3, then there’s a current partner who is jealous of the high school ex-boyfriend who’s still living in the small town and still has big love for the fish… er woman who ran away to the big city. They may end up reunited because the current partner ends up being an ass.
5. If not 4, then they are thrown together somehow, the ex high school love, or the ex fiance, whatever the case may be, until they fall madly back into love with each other and work things out to get engaged or married and live happily ever after.
6. If there is an ex-high school love, or a forlorn guy from high school that had/has the hots for the heroine, and the heroine is engaged or with a partner, there will always be hilarious jealous sniping between the two men. The heroine may or may not witness this intermittently. When she does, when it gets to the “OMG, this guy of mine is ridiculously jealous and has gone off the deep end…” she’ll toss his ass to the curb and run off with the guy who truly loves her when she realizes what a jackass the guy she’s with truly has become (or always been).

I’ve also noticed that if there are any gay relationships, it’s always a friend of the heroine or maybe the brother of the hero. It’s also never a lesbian relationship. It’s also a very small part. They’re only there to lend a shoulder or a helping hand when something goes wildly off the tracks to bliss.

Don’t get me wrong, the stories are good, if cheesy. They make people warm and fuzzy and fill them with hope to find true love or renew their own love. And, you can learn from them as a writer. You can take the cheesy story and make it a little bit higher of stake. You can add some hot steamy sex scenes. You can shred these and mash them together. Perhaps write your own Christmas Fuzzy Love Story about a lesbian couple. Perhaps one of them hasn’t come out to their family and are afraid they won’t be accepted. Maybe their Christmas Wish is to be accepted for who they are and that their family will welcome their partner with open arms.

I’ve also noticed there are more non-white people in these movies, which is a blessing. With everything always being so very white, it’s definitely noticeable and definitely a plus. What are your favorite cheesy Christmas movies? Or do you avoid them altogether in favor of something else? If so, what do you watch or read to avoid cheesy holiday movies?